HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (breathe) HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA that is like the FUNNIEST THING i’ve ever read. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OMG. I just shit my pants. HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAha. farmer IN the dell…he’s actually IN the Dell computer. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Fuck!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAhAHAHAhAH. chortle. snort. chortle. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. brilliant. fucking cocktacualr.hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. i just busted a gut. ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
in the Dell. ahahahahahahahahahahahahah. michael dell. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. shit. shitttttt. sheeeeee-itttt. hahahahahahahahahahaha.
*shart.
hahahahahahahahahahaha! oh shit, i sharted…in the dell! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. oh my god, i cant breathe….i cant breathe,…..rgh eflbnefnlef
ahahahahahahaha
POSSIBLY THE VERY BEST CHICKEN JOKE EVER
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, “Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question.”
Reblogged from bravefacari with 16 notes / Permalink
25 Signs You Have Grown Up
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “breakup.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog “Science Diet” instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?”
Source: DivineCaroline.com
Notes / Permalink
"
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
"Notes / Permalink
Hungry Tiger (4/5)
It’s like McDonalds of Kabob… only GOOD. Apparently, the owner is no stranger to the restaurant business—and it shows. If you like the food at Moby Dick, you will love this place. This was my first visit, so I have not sampled much of the menu, but I tried some of the items my friends had as well and can tell you the kubideh is first rate, the chicken, perfectly marinated and delicious and the lamb is absolutely spectacularly seasoned, tender and mouthwatering. I want more for breakfast as I write this! The place looks a little like a fast food joint. The location is great if you are in or around Tenley. I happened to get a parking spot during evening rush hour directly in front, as did two friends. There’s also ice cream. Go for the mango. (via Shawn H. on Yelp)
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Crisp & Juicy (5/5)
Like Helen, I have no idea what’s in the sauce. But I love it, so it must be bad for you. I don’t think you could consider any of the food at Crisp & Juicy as healthy, but you could consider it as FANTASTIC. Of course, the chicken is excellent. Most people know this place because of the chicken, but they also have excellent chorizo, a decent steak and the flan is a dessert that you should save room for the next time you’re there. I was really surprised to see only one review here. I was only a few weeks late to be first! Again, agreeing with Helen, Crisp & Juicy certainly doesn’t need a rave review from anyone. They have a lot of happy customers talking about how great the food is and how wonderfully they treat customers. (via Shawn H. on Yelp)
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