Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his
tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water
long enough.

Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you
detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.

Q: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be
at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or false…a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes…

Q: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably
a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you think he’s really attractive, is it okay to come out directly
and ask him if he’s married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you
get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to
say “I love you”?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and
a twenty.

Q: What are “Do It,” “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?
A: George Gobel: I don’t know but it’s coming from the next
apartment.

Q: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy.
growing strawberries!

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body
- what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t
neglected!

Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than
150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.

Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it’s sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in
them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What
are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.