Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
rd67:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (breathe) HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA that is like the FUNNIEST THING i’ve ever read. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OMG. I just shit my pants. HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAha. farmer IN the dell…he’s actually IN the Dell computer. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Fuck!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAhAHAHAhAH. chortle. snort. chortle. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. brilliant. fucking cocktacualr.hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. i just busted a gut. ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
in the Dell. ahahahahahahahahahahahahah. michael dell. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. shit. shitttttt. sheeeeee-itttt. hahahahahahahahahahaha.
*shart.
hahahahahahahahahahaha! oh shit, i sharted…in the dell! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. oh my god, i cant breathe….i cant breathe,…..rgh eflbnefnlef
ahahahahahahaha
POSSIBLY THE VERY BEST CHICKEN JOKE EVER
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, “Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question.”
Reblogged from bravefacari with 16 notes / Permalink
Life:Explained
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.
“But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.
The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.
The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life.”
The American interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”
“And after that?” asked the Mexican.
“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”
“How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.
“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the American.
“And after that?”
“Afterwards? Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the American, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!”
“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the Mexican.
“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”
And the moral of this story is: ……… Know where you’re going in life… you may already be there.
Notes / Permalink
Tough Morning…
This morning, I was in a huge hurry and on my way to work. I was preoccupied with what my day held and I rear-ended a car at a stop light because I was not really paying attention. I had hot coffee in my lap and I was running late.
“Great, just great”, I moaned.
The driver opened his door……..leaned out of his car and stared at me. He was a dwarf. He got out, studied the damage on his bumper, and walked towards me as I rolled down my window.
He said, “I am not happy”…
To which I replied, “Well….. which one are you then?”
Notes / Permalink
