“Mr. Math Genius”

  • her: …I need to lose 10 lbs
  • me: if you lose 10lbs I could pick you up with my baby toe
  • her: I’m 111 I need to be 100
  • me: then you “need” to lose eleven pounds
  • her: Yah, whatever mr math genius! H*aaa

Mathematics and reality

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

Albert Einstein, 1879 – 1955

via QOTD


March 3rd, 2009 is a Square Root Day. This only happens nine times every 100 years.



I’m not sure of an adequate way to celebrate, but, nevertheless, we should celebrate.

A Square Root Day is when the first two numbers in the date are the same and when multiplied they equal the final two or three numbers of the year. In this case, it’s 3-3-09. 3 x 3 = 09. Or the square-root of 9 is 3. The next Square Root Day is April 4th, 2016.


Math Pickup Lines!

Euclid said that two parallel planes don’t touch. Let’s go back to my room and study some non-Euclidean geometry.

Why don’t you be the numerator and I be the denominator and both of us reduce to simplest form?

Can I plug my solution into your equation?

Huygens’ favorite curves were cycloids, but my favorite curves are yours.

Much of our shared knowledge was discovered in the East before being brought to the Western world: the number zero, Arabic numerals, the quadratic formula, the Kama Sutra.

Here is an elementary proof of the First Fundamental Theorem of Love.

The volume of a generalized cylinder has been known for thousands of years, but you won’t know the volume of mine until tonight.

Archimedes cried out “eureka” and ran around naked and filled with joy when he discovered that the volume of a solid can be determined by how much it displaces. Spend more time with me and you will do the same.

I don’t like my current girlfriend. Mind if I do a you-substitution?

Your face has perfect reflective symmetry.

Shall I iterate using Newton’s method to find your 0?

You are one well-defined function.

Why don’t we use some Fourier analysis on our relationship and reduce to a series of simple periodic functions.

Bertrand Russell was a renowned mathematician, philosopher and advocate for sexual liberation. How about we cut math and philosophy class and focus on the rest of Russell’s life.

Now that the demonstration using Fermat’s Little Theorem is over, here is a demonstration using my little man.

The law of contrapositives says that we should use a condom.

I would really like to bisect your angle.

Are you the square root of 2? Because I feel irrational when I am around you.

How about we turn our binary operation into a group?

Being a mathematician is tough work.
Is there any chance that you can provide
me with an easier kind of job?

I have a solution to Fermat’s Theorem written on the inside of my pants.

You have one compact set.

I like the area bounded by your two curves.

I can figure out the square root of any number in less than 10 seconds. What? You don’t believe me? Well, then, let’s try it with your phone number.

Are you a vector-valued function? Because I would really like to see how much you flux when I curl you.

Meeting you is like a switch to polar coordinates: complex and imaginary things are given a magnitude and a direction.

If you don’t want to go all the way, you can still partially derive me.

My vector has a large magnitude, care to normalize it?

I see that you have two nice maxima, mind if I solve for the minimum?

Nice calculator. Wanna iterate?


Amazing Math trick with paper, scissors, and tape

Amazing Math trick with paper, scissors, and tape


The Prime Number Shitting Bear

The Prime Number Shitting Bear


The Random Integer Blog