- Taco Bell
- Super absorbent
- Burger King
- Moderately absorbent
- Moderately absorbent
- Not very absorbent
- Not at all absorbent
- Sweet Lord
- I eat too
- Much fast food.
Mickey D’s 1, Starbucks 0.
great ad, but wow… there is so much that can and should be said about the golden arches
This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?
On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
Yes – Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
It’s like McDonalds of Kabob… only GOOD. Apparently, the owner is no stranger to the restaurant business–and it shows. If you like the food at Moby Dick, you will love this place. This was my first visit, so I have not sampled much of the menu, but I tried some of the items my friends had as well and can tell you the kubideh is first rate, the chicken, perfectly marinated and delicious and the lamb is absolutely spectacularly seasoned, tender and mouthwatering. I want more for breakfast as I write this! The place looks a little like a fast food joint. The location is great if you are in or around Tenley. I happened to get a parking spot during evening rush hour directly in front, as did two friends. There’s also ice cream. Go for the mango. (via Shawn H. on Yelp)