It isn’t necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice – there are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.
Frank Zappa, 1940 – 1993
via QOTD
It isn’t necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice – there are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.
Frank Zappa, 1940 – 1993
via QOTD
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Here’s the daily menu of workplace fears (pick one or more).
Fear of:
Embarrassment
Getting fired.
Being ostracized.
The in-basket.
Speaking before a group.
Speaking.
Meeting a new boss.
Seeing the old boss.
Failure.
Success.
Mediocrity.
The secretary.
Missing a deadline.
Being teased or harassed.
Getting injured.
The IT team.
Not knowing crucial information.
Wasting time.
Handling new equipment.
Not getting promoted.
Getting promoted.
Being reassigned.
Being reprimanded or suspended.
Consultants.
Lawyers.
Accountants.
Customers.
Losing documents.
Finding documents.
Dealing with an obnoxious boss or co-worker.
Being ensnared in illegal or unethical activities.
Using poor grammar or improper pronunciation.
Not projecting an appropriate image.
Making a decision.
Neglecting personal responsibilities.
Devoting a lifetime to a soulness entity that has no loyalty but possesses the capacity to drain the energy and creativity from once vibrant human beings so they eventually resemble brain-dead zombies.